Life in Holland: So It Goes

Monday, November 15, 2010

So It Goes

My blood pressure hit 150/98, I had a bad headache, and my swelling was not improving. I called my doctor and am now in the hospital. The good news is that the baby looks good on ultrasound. I got new blood pressure medicine and my pressure has responded nicely. The bad news is that my head is still killing me and I have hyperreflexia. These can indicate cerebral edema. I am in the process of doing a 24 hour urine collection to see how my kidneys are holding up. I am terrified! I keep hearing babies being delivered and crying that sweet first cry and keep wondering if we will make it far enough to hear that. I am trying to stay upbeat but I am so scared!

3 comments:

txmama08November 15, 2010 at 8:50 PM
Thinking of you Jamie! Liz
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*Laura AngelNovember 15, 2010 at 9:01 PM
Thinking of you! Lets hope that new bp meds bring your bp down and your headache goes away soon! Can they do a CT to rule out cerebral swelling?
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~Praying Through Life~November 16, 2010 at 8:57 AM
Oh no, this isn't what I wanted to read. =0( I'll be thinking & praying for you...
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I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this....When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.