Gabe Update #4

My sweet boy did not feed well throughout the night last night so he got the dreaded NG tube this morning. He doesn't seem to mind it. Right now they are alternating gavage feedings with bottle feedings. He gets 40 ml gavage and 30 ml bottle feeds. Luckily my milk has come in so we are not having to use formula anymore and he seems to be tolerating that better. HE is super gassy but I'm wondering if my diet is contributing to that. I am going to cut a few things out and see if that helps. He has also been hypertensive today. They rechecked his blood pressure a million times and checked it in all 4 limbs but it continued to be high. They are going to just watch it for a day or two. Hopefully it will correct itself. If not he will need a work-up for renal artery issues. I'm not too concerned because even if it is a renal problem the doctor said it is easily treated with meds and that the babies outgrow it. His bilirubin went up a bit more but he still did not need the lights. I suspect now that he is getting more to eat that his levels will start to come down. He is already spoiled. Kenneth and I spent the morning with him and then we left to go eat lunch. When we got back the nurses had him at the desk holding him. They said he had been crying and so they just kept him with them. He is just so cute, how could they not spoil him? We have had all great nurses but our day nurse yesterday and today has been awesome. She is off tomorrow and I hate that but they have all been good to Gabe and to us so no worries. I am falling asleep as I type this so I am off to bed for a couple of hours until Medela (my pump) and I meet again. Until tomorrow...

Gabe Update #3

We were told yesterday that Gabe might get to come home on Monday. I told Kenneth I was not going to get my hopes up so that I wouldn't be devastated if he didn't get to come home. I got to the hospital today and sure enough, that plan had been scratched. As they tried to go up on his feeds, he quit wanting to eat. They decreased the amount he is supposed to take to 30 ml every 3 hours. He has 30 minutes to finish the feeding. He did poor the first two feedings at that rate and then did better the next 2. If he has one more bad feeding then he will have to have an NG tube and they will gavage whatever he doesn't finish in the 30 minute period. His bilirubin was up more too so they will redraw that tonight and see where he is. He had a few desats today but I did not see any bradys while I was there so that is good. Overall he is still doing quite well. He just needs a little more time to grow and mature before he is ready to come home. For the most part he has been really sleepy and I've only seen his eyes open 1 or 2 times. He had a period today where he was really alert and looking around. He seemed to follow voices and be trying to focus a little bit. This little boy has stolen my heart! We will head up there in the morning again after taking the girls to school. I pray that he has a good night and we get good news. Until then I'll be sleeping and pumping...

Gabe Update #2

I was discharged today and am home. It feels good to be home but it was really hard to leave my sweet baby boy at the hospital. He is progressing nicely though and hopefully will be home early next week. He is doing a better about tolerating his feedings with the formula switch. He is still only taking 32ml (about 1 ounce) every 3 hours so he is not where he needs to be yet but he's getting there. As they increase the feeds he seems to be taking the bottle less and less easily. The neonatologist had told us to expect that though. I am ultimately going to breast feed and am pumping religiously but just have very little supply at this time. It has only been about 48 hours though so I am not worried. I know he will also tolerate the breast milk better than the formula too so I am ready for the milk to arrive. His platelets had been low and his hematocrit high but they were back to normal today. His bilirubin is up but not dangerous so for now they are just watching it. He did have quite a few desats and bradys today while sleeping so although I want him home I feel comfort knowing he is where he is and he is being watched closely. Thank you again for all of the prayers and thoughts. Everyone has been so kind! Just to look at that sweet baby boy it reminds me that miracles do happen...

Gabe Update #1

I just went and saw Gabe for a bit. I got to hold him finally and it felt so good. I am so in love with this little boy. I only held him long enough to get a picture yesterday so getting to sit and hold him for a little while was so comforting. He had a pretty good night. He is still on room air and his breathing has slowed down a bit which is a good thing. They tried swaddling him and turning his bed warmer off but he got cold pretty quick so the warmer is back on. They are going to try again later today. His platelets are low but they said that goes along with my hypertension. He ate fairly well but has spit up everything he eats. I am going to breastfeed but he needs more than I can produce right now so he's getting formula. Since Carly and Anna both had milk allergy they are going to change his formula today and see if that helps. I think that's about it for now. Time for another nap.

He's Here

I can't seem to post pictures from my phone to my blog but just wanted to share the good news. Gabriel "Gabe" Charles Watson is here safe and sound. He is 5 lb 13 oz and 19 inches long. He
is in the NICU for observation but doing ok. I will update more later. I am doing well also and avoided the dreaded mag!

Game Over

I had an OB appointment yesterday. My b/p was up still. It is a bit higher each week. My OB and I had a good chat about 34-35 weekers and we decided together that it is time to get this baby out. I will go in early Thursday morning to be induced. TMI- I'm already a 2 and 100% so it hopefully will go smoothly. My labor with Anna was only about 2 hours from the start of induction and I'm hoping this one will be just as quick and easy. I think I deserve that much! Dr. Cummings thinks Gabe will probably need a little NICU time but hopefully not much. He is afraid he will have "wimpy white boy syndrome." Apparently little white boys seem to mature their lungs later than others. Either way, he will be here safe and sound and I am so relieved. I am not sure how much more my nerves could take. I was crying at my appointment and telling Dr. Cummings how I know he is alive in there because he is kicking and twisting and punching with all his might but I just can't get past worrying about his brain. I lay awake at night begging him just to hold on for a little while longer. It has gotten more emotional with each passing day. I am so ready to be able to see him and hold him! Kenneth is doing quite well after his surgery. He goes back Friday for another minor clean out in the office and then he should be good to go. I am kind of glad he will get a little more time off since the baby is coming because I was afraid of him going back to work too soon and putting an air pack on during a fire and busting his surgery all up. By the time he goes back he should be all healed up. Carly and Anna continue to do well also and are excited about Gabe getting here. Carly is calling him Gabe and Anna is calling him "Brudder" or "Baby Brudder" or "Bobo." Don't ask me where Bobo came from, I don't know, but I am really discouraging it...

Sweet Peace

What a difference a day makes. We left the hospital yesterday and picked up Carly and came home. Kenneth did well on the way home except for a little nausea but he gets car sick easily anyway so I wasn't too surprised. His pain has been well controlled and really pretty minimal anyway. He bled quite a bit yesterday but he didn't stop his aspirin until 2 days before the surgery so that wasn't too unusual- plus that area is pretty vascular I would think. Anyway, he slept off and on during the night. For about the past year we have slept in separate rooms. We would occasionally start out in the same room but one of us always ended up moving because of the snoring. Since I've been pregnant and uncomfortable I've mostly just slept on the couch and let him have the bed. It is much easier to get up and down from the couch. Lately it had gotten so bad that he was in the bedroom and I was on the couch on opposite sides of the house and his snoring would still wake me up. I would have to get up and shut the bedroom door but could still hear him with the bedroom TV on, the living room TV on, and the door shut. I secretly looked forward to him being on duty so I could have quiet in the house at night. But the poor guys at the station, I felt so sorry for them because the station is pretty small and they could not escape the noise. They were even jokingly offering to pay for the surgery if it would just shut Kenneth up. Anyway, last night, even with his swollen nostrils, for the first time in years, he did not snore. He had to sleep in the recliner because he is supposed to keep his head at least 30 degrees but even before he would snore sitting up. We actually spent a whole entire night in the room together. It was amazing. I owe Dr. DeFreitas our marriage- I think he saved it. Not really, our marriage was never in jeopardy, but not being able to ever sleep in the same bed is not a good thing for a marriage. Anyway, I could not be happier and neither could Kenneth. Even Carly commented on how quiet daddy was last night. It is amazing what clogged sinuses and a deviated septum can do. Carly stayed home again today. Her fever is gone but I wanted to give her one more day to recuperate. She has been so sweet and really helped take care of her daddy. I guess she just had a virus but it was weird to get the fever 4 days into the virus rather than at the beginning. Whatever- I'm just glad she is feeling better. She did give me the virus but I will survive. It could be way worse! Gabe has been super active yesterday and today. I am so glad because it has eased my mind. My b/p is still up but is to be expected. My mom sent me a text message and let me know they made it to Tel Aviv without any problems. I am so excited for them to get to spend 2 weeks there. It is a trip my dad has wanted to take forever and I am so glad they finally got to go. So all in all things are great. We are all on the mend and looking forward to a low key weekend. God is good all the time..

In My Former Life

I think I must have been really bad in my former life. Like really really bad. So yesterday didn't go as expected which sucked at the time but today I see the reasons why it worked out like it did and I am again reminded that God does all things with purpose and that purpose is not solely to make me miserable. So we went to Kenneth's pre-op appointment yesterday morning on the off chance I didn't get induced. We just let the doctor know we might have to reschedule. His appointment was at 0930 but my 24 hour urine was not complete until 1100 so we traveled in style- with a cooler in the back of Kenneth's truck filled with my urine on ice. (You have to keep it cold the whole time). So we finished his appointment and went on to the hospital where my sweet husband lugged around my 6.5 liters of urine (I can pee with the best of them). We dropped it off and went to lunch. After much waiting we got word that my protein was ok (much to everyone's disbelief) and we were sent home to wait another week. I was a bit disappointed but I know every day inside equals 2 less NICU days so I just tried to suck it up although I really felt like I could cry a river of tears. I want what is best for Gabe but I am so tired if worrying. The other reason is that my parents left this morning to go to Israel for 2 weeks and I hate for them to not be here. Anyway, we got up at 5 this morning to get ready and I went in to kiss Carly bye and she felt warm. She has had a dry cough, runny nose, and sore throat for a couple of days so I wasn't too worried. But I was a bad mom- I gave her Tylenol and Motrin and asked the babysitter to just take her to school anyway. I didn't know what else to do and in hindsight that was a really stupid decision. So Kenneth and I got to Denton and as he was getting his IV, etc, the school called and said Carly has fever. Luckily my mother in law was able to go pick her up. She has fever despite meds, sore throat, runny nose, aches, cough, headache, and stomachache. I'm thinking she may have the flu or hopefully just strep. Of course our pediatrician is off on Wednesdays- not that I could take her anyway because I'm stuck at the hospital for the time being. And yes, she did get the flu shot, actually the mist. So much for bedrest today. I will get Kenneth home later and settled and then go get Carly. Luckily Anna is staying with my mother in law tonight so I won't have her to deal with too. Flu or strep and a preemie would be a really bad combo so thank God for not giving us our baby yesterday!!! In good news (it is weird to call this good) but apparently the school decided to test Carly for dyslexia after I have been begging all year. Guess what, she's dyslexic. The good news is that now with an official diagnosis they are going to start working with her and helping her. Thank God for that. She also got glasses last Friday and looks adorable in them. I'll post a picture later when I'm not blogging from my phone. Anyway, see why I think I might have been really bad?

24 Hour Countdown

My OB appointment this morning went well. B/P was up but that is to be expected. The ultrasound lady at the office was backed up so I was sent to the hospital for a BPP, NST, and labs. They all looked fine. I started a 24 hour urine and it will be completed at 11 am tomorrow. I was told to stay in Denton tomorrow after dropping the urine off until they get the results and to come with my bags packed. If it is elevated then we will be meeting little Gabe tomorrow. If it is ok then we will press on for another week. The only problem with delivery tomorrow is that Kenneth is scheduled for sinus surgery on Wednesday. We will just have to reschedule that if we have a baby tomorrow. He really needs the surgery but we really need a healthy baby too. Only time will tell...

One In A Million

Seriously, if there is going to be an issue that only happens to 1% of people, it will be Anna. How many babies make it to full term when the mother gets PE at 24 weeks? How many babies born IUGR actually end up with cerebral palsy? How many of those kids end up defying the odds and walking (even if a little gimpy) on schedule? How many of those kids need feeding tubes? How many of those kids don't start having seizures until after their 2nd birthday? I could go on forever. Yesterday, out of the blue, Anna started screaming and crying that her ear hurt. She rarely complains but it just so happened she started complaining about the time we were leaving to take her to her gradmother because I had to go to labor and delivery with high b/p. I hoped she was just being dramatic although it is not normal for her. I gave her some Tylenol and hoped for the best. After being released from L&D and sent back home for more bedrest we went to pick Anna up. She had been crying with her ear most of the time we had been gone. She would doze off and wake up screaming and crying. At that point she didn't have any fever though. By the time we got home and gave her all of her nighttime meds plus some more Tylenol she fell asleep. I laid her on the couch and was remarking to Kenneth how she just spiked a temp because she was hot as heck and had chill bumps everywhere. About that time the volcano erupted. She puked up dinner plus all of her meds. For whatever reason both of my kids rarely puke (minus when Anna had her G tube) but when they spike a high temp really quickly they both become pukers. I didn't want to give her more meds because I was not sure what she had absorbed so I just gave her a tiny bit of melatonin and hoped for the best. She actually did ok throughout the night although we never got her fever down below 102 even alternating Tylenol and Motrin. I got her in with Dr. Goff this morning. She does have another ear infection but beyond that her tube has fallen out and the hole did not seal off like it should have. This happens in, you guessed it, 1% of patients with tympanostomy tubes. She is on oral antibiotics and antibiotic/steroid ear drops. We go back for a recheck in 3 weeks. Hopefully the hole will heal on its own but if not we will have to go back to the ENT for a patch over her eardrum (which Dr. Goff says is a difficult procedure and the patch falls off a lot of the time). I asked if they could just put another tube in the same hole but he said it doesn't work like that. The risk with leaving the hole is that it can start to affect her hearing. We already have enough speech problems. Adding hearing damamge certainly will not help in that department. Of course the pharmacy didn't have the antibiotics we needed but they will have them first thing in the morning. We already had the drops so we did start them right away. She still has fever but overall seems to be feeling much better. By the time we got home from L&D and picking up Anna last night I was at the end of my rope and the end of the rope was frayed and about to come undone. I was having mommy guilt about everything ,feeling totally inadequate as a parent, tired, sad for Anna, and most of all just done with this pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy to have come this far but I am done. I am so sick of bedrest and feeling like I am just waiting for the crap to hit the fan. I have another OB appointment on Monday and I plan to discuss my mental health more than my physical. I have tried to be patient and keep things in perspective but I am weary. I know I am almost to the end, but that end cannot come soon enough. I didn't sleep worth a crap last night. Luckily Kenneth took off work today and stayed home to help me. He knew I was on the verge of total breakdown. I was able to get a good nap today and am feeling much better tonight. I know I can do this but sometimes I just want to curl up in a ball and lose it...

Cooped Up

The kids and their friends with their Nana

I've neglected this poor blog over the past week. We had the snow and ice for days and the kids were home making it impossible to do much else than try to keep them entertained. It was so nice when they went back to school yesterday. We are bracing for more snow tonight and then I think next week it is supposed to be back in the 70's. The weather here is so crazy! I do know one thing- a day of snow is fun. A week of snow is crappy at best and I do not envy anyone who lives where it snows all winter. Maybe your kids adjust to being inside but mine need much outside time and this last week made us all a bit nuts. I did have a friend comment that after being cooped up in her house for just a few days she suddenly realized how crappy bed rest really is. It was nice that someone noticed that it isn't fun. I get so many people who say they wish they could go home and stay on the couch or just lay around for weeks on end. Believe me people, it is only fun for about a day. Not much else is happening and that is fine. I had an OB appointment yesterday and it was uneventful. We go back next week unless something changes before then. I have been having a lot of contractions in my back and they will last for an hour or two and then stop. They hurt but are tolerable. My pelvis is getting more painful as the hours go by and now my tailbone feels bruised whenever I sit down. I am pretty much miserable and can no longer get comfortable no matter what I do. I am so thankful to have come so far but I am pretty much ready to be done. I think getting up and around more would make me feel better but I know what it would do to my pressures so it isn't really an option. I keep telling myself I can do this for 1-2 more weeks and then it will all be over. After a prompting from my sister who was prompted by a friend of hers via Beth Moore, I am now memorizing a bible scripture every 2 weeks. My verse for this 2 weeks is this- But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9. I think it is so fitting for my current situation...

Al Gore is So Very Wrong

Anna, Makenzie, and Carly (they lasted about 5 minutes)

The view from my front porch

We have been so lucky during this ice and snow. Kenneth was able to make it to work safely and had very few runs on his shift. We did lose power but only for about 4 hours and it was during the late night/early morning hours while we were still in bed so the girls and I just snuggled and kept warm. Just about the time we were going to get out of bed it came back on. The girls have had excellent behavior for being stuck inside for 2 days now. Kenneth made it home safely this morning and was able to take the girls out 4 wheeling for a few minutes. He spent longer getting them bundled up than they actually spent outside but it got it out of their system and they were content to stay inside after that. This afternoon I was getting cabin fever really bad so we ventured out to my parent's house. It is only about 5 miles from our house. It was a slippery ride there and one I would not have ever made on my own. My car wouldn't have made it up our hill anyway. Thank goodness for 4WD. The kids were happy to have different scenery and they played together nicely. Kenneth and I played a game called sequence with my parents and had a good time. It was dark when we came home and much more slippery than before. I think a few times Kenneth slipped around on purpose just to watch me freak out. He's a man...he's allowed. Two years ago I left for work on an icy day and crashed into an 18 wheeler, spun around, and crashed into another 18 wheeler before going off the road. I do not have fond memories of that day and so ice really freaks me out. Carly is out of school again tomorrow and then her school was already out on Friday so she does not have school until Monday. I hope she continues to be as sweet during these days as she has been so far. Yesterday I told Anna to go do something, I don't recall what, and she said "I can't. My doctor say I have to lay down." I guess she listens to me more than I thought...

Truckin On

Quick update- my Internet is by satellite which is now covered in ice so service is spotty. My b/p was good yesterday. I had another ultrasound and Gabriel still looks good. He is little, only about 3.5 lbs but still growing. His heart was back in a regular rhythm. Praise God, He is good! We are going to try to push it 2 more weeks but Dr Cummings says he really does not think we can push it any further than that. I will be so thrilled with 34 weeks. I feel so bad for my poor husband who is on duty today and has to get out in this icy mess, and I am thankful I can stay home out of it. I'll bring more Gabe updates as they come and as Internet is available. Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers! Keep them coming, they are working...