Monday, May 26, 2008

Wisdom Beyond Her Years/Holland Part 2

Wow, what a weekend. I didn't get a chance to post yesterday and was so busy today and I kept feeling like I was going to explode if I didn't get to write soon. This is so therapeutic for me. So the Rattlesnake Round-Up went off without a hitch. It was a fund raiser for our volunteer fire department. My crazy husband got in a pit with 80 rattlesnakes because a female Jr firefighter did it and he didn't want to be shown up by a girl. MEN!!! Luckily I was gone at the time taking Carly to get chicken nuggets so I did not have the pleasure of witnessing the event. I should have pictures soon where he had one coiled and resting on top of his head. I always knew he was crazy, now I have proof. So after the round-up we came home and brought Collyn (my nephew) and 2 of his friends. They are 11 or 12 yrs old and pretty much self sufficient. They were well behaved and enjoyed being away from home. I always hope to be able to be the safe & fun hang out for kids when they need to get away from their parents. They were all quite well behaved but boy can they put away some groceries!! I am used to a little girl who thinks anything more than 3 chicken nuggets is way too much food. I got them 2 large pizzas for dinner, set them on the counter, turned around, and voila- they were gone. Next time I will be more prepared. Then we all went to a Memorial Day cook out and pool party and then off to the fire station and then a few other errands and then finally home. This morning before the cookout Carly's friend Kinsey came over and they were ballerinas and dancing around the living room. They are so cute. Then they decided to run a fast food restaurant and used the pet door as their food window and passed play food back and forth through it. Their imaginations are incredible. Anna has had a pretty good weekend also. She has actually fussed a bit which is such foreign territory for us. She rarely fusses and is just usually smiling. She is cutting some teeth (I think) and so I guess this is the explanation. I am actually a bit relieved by the fussing. I have been reading up on something called Angelman Syndrome and I worry that this describes Anna. I am not trying to borrow trouble- it is just that is fits except for she doesn't have an unusually small head but Dr. Miller had told me to be very diligent about watching her head growth because it could be a sign of something "far worse" than CP. He never mentioned the word Angelman's but I wonder if this is why he mentioned watching head growth. I guess I'll never know because I got a letter in the mail that said he is leaving his practice to teach full time and do missionary work. I am very upset but who could fault a man for that decision. It's not like he's leaving to pursue a career in crack dealing or something. I am sad though and will be in search of another neuro although I doubt I will find another who makes me as at ease as he did with Anna's diagnosis. I am starting to have some problems feeding Anna. I know you are wondering about the picture of the spoons- the green one is what we use to feed Anna and the Elmo one is a normal sized baby spoon. She is doing so much arching of her back that it is becoming increasingly difficult to get food into her mouth because she is in such a funky position. Then if you do get it in her mouth her tongue thrusting is getting worse so she tends to push more food out than she gets in. Before you say, "All babies lose a lot of their food, " I know but this is different. I am ready for her other evals to be done so we can get some therapy started here. I have to work tomorrow and am not really looking forward to it. I love my job but I love to sleep also and the two are just not compatible since I have to get up at 5 a.m. on the days I work. I hope you had a great weekend also. Later... Oh, I almost forgot to tell you how much a kid's perspective differs from ours- Carly and I were in the car today and she jokingly says, "Mommy, I wish I had 3 legs." I asked her why and of course she had no clue. I told her that if she had 3 legs we wouldn't be able to find any shorts or jeans to fit her and she says, "That's o.k. mommy, I'd just wear skirts." Sometimes I wish I could see things through the eyes of a child. It is amazing how they can adapt while we are still sitting around worrying.
I found a sequel to the Holland piece and am praying to get to this point some day:
Celebrating Holland - I'm Home
I have been in Holland for a while now. It has become home. I have had time to catch my breath, to settle in and adjust, and to accept this different trip than I'd planned.I reflect back on those years when I first landed in Holland and remember clearly my shock, my fear, my anger. In those first few years, I tried to get back to Italy as planned, but Holland was where I was to stay. Today, I can say how far I have come on this unexpected journey, how much I have learned about Holland. But it has been a journey of time.I worked hard. I bought new guidebooks. I learned a new language, and I slowly found my way around in Holland. I met others whose plans had changed like mine and who could share my experience. Some of these fellow travellers had been in Holland longer than I and were seasoned guides, assisting me along the way. Many have encouraged me and have taught me to open my eyes to the wonder and gifts to behold in this new land. We supported one another, some have become very special friends, and I have discovered a community of caring. Holland isn't so bad.I think that Holland is used to wayward travellers like me and has become a land of hospitality, reaching out to welcome, assist, and support newcomers. Over the years, I've wondered what life would have been like if I'd landed in Italy as planned. Would life have been easier? Would it have been as rewarding? Would I have learned the important lessons I benefit from today?Sure, this journey has been challenging and at times I would (and still do) stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest. And, yes, Holland is slower paced and less flashy that Italy, but this, too, has been an unexpected gift. I have learned to slow down and look closer at things, with a new appreciation for the remarkable beauty of Holland. I have discovered that it doesn't matter where you land. What's more important is what you make of your journey and how you see and enjoy the very special things that Holland has to offer. I have come to love Holland and call it home.Yes, I landed in a place I hadn't planned. Yet I am thankful, for this destination has been richer than I could have imagined!

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