Today has been another roller coaster but I have to say it felt like I at least had a seat belt on today rather than hanging half out of the ride like I felt yesterday. Yesterday was a terribly hard day. Kenneth and I had a difference of opinion on more than 1 occasion. I do not really wish to air our dirty laundry on here but I think I have to be real and being real means that things are not easy right now. The reality of it is that marriage is hard enough when things are going your way. When things get tough, marriage gets even tougher sometimes. It would be nice if it was always a Cinderella tale but anybody who is married knows it just isn't that way. It is hard because we are in such different places emotionally right now and sometimes it is hard to support each other when you can't understand where the other person is and you are so exhausted that you aren't sure you even have the energy to go exploring and meet them where they are. Kenneth and I have endured many hardships and have stuck it out and always come out stronger in the end. I know this will not be any different but it may be tough getting to that point. God never promised us an easy life though, he just promised that he would walk through it all, the good and the bad, with us. We went as a family to the park today- we also took Carly's friend Kinsey. Kinsey has been such a blessing. She lives next door to us and she and Carly love each other. She has made our lives much easier because she keeps Carly from being lonely when we cannot play with her or entertain her. Carly is an awesome kid but she just isn't all that great at entertaining herself. Anyway, we went to Leonard Park and the girls played and Kenneth and I had a chance to sit out in the beautiful park and just relax and take a deep breath. The weather was beautiful and I think the oxygen worked wonders for us. We came home and ate pork chops (and applesauce- just kidding- that's a Brady Bunch joke) and baked potatoes and watched one of our favorite shows, John & Kate Plus 8. Kenneth cannot stand Kate, it is funny to listen to him talk about her. I bathed the girls and put them to bed. It has felt like a normal night in our household for the first time since all of this started. I went to the doctor today and got some meds to help me sleep. I've only been getting about 4 hours of sleep a night and I know that is not helping the situation. I hope to get a good night's sleep tonight and then get up before the sun and go to work. I pray God will help me focus at work tomorrow- I need focus and my patients need me to be able to focus. On a side note- for those of you who know me well you know that I really like to watch Roseanne when I can't sleep at night. I think I have seen every episode. Last night as I was laying in bed crying my eyes out, my favorite episode of Roseanne came on and then I ended up laughing hysterically. Here is my favoite line from that episode and if you recongnize it I think you'll laugh too... Darlene is recounting the day's events from the student council election when she comes to the part where she says "Becky cut the cheese!"