Life in Holland: I Wanted So Badly To Be Wrong

Monday, July 12, 2010

I Wanted So Badly To Be Wrong

Of all the times I have wanted to be right, this just wasn't one of them. Anna had one staring episode yesterday but I was not sure if it amounted to anything so I wasn't too worried. Then today we were in the car and I noticed she just looked really sleepy. It wasn't a normal sleepy look, there was just something different in her eyes. We went into McDonald's and Carly and her friends were off playing and I was holding Anna and waiting in line to order. She started staring off into space and kind of twirling her hair and then she started convulsing. It only lasted about 10 seconds but it felt like an eternity. After that, she was fine. There is no more denying it. Anna is having seizures. I called and talked to the Neuro's office again and the nurse called me back quickly. She told me to continue the EEG plans for tomorrow and she will call me back in a little bit with further instructions. I will update when I hear from her.

3 comments:

KristineJuly 12, 2010 at 3:35 PM
I'm so sorry, I hoped you were wrong too! I guess one small positive is that the EEG is so soon. I hope it goes well and it's easy to treat with meds.
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MaureenJuly 12, 2010 at 10:09 PM
I'm so sorry.
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KatyJuly 13, 2010 at 12:22 AM
I'm really sorry to hear this, but I am going to remain confident/hopeful that this is something they will be able to fix easily.
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I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this....When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.