Monday, June 21, 2010

Confession Time

I have a confession to make. I posted a few posts back about something I had found on the Texas Medical Board Website about a doctor involved with my and Anna's medical care. After posting that I began to wrestle with the Lord again about the spirit of unforgiveness that was shown there. I had posted about forgiving Mr. Dr. K but have remained angry with Mrs. Dr. K still. She had said some things to me that I felt were unkind. After forgiving Mr. I was rocking along and just kind of felt "done" with all of that. Then I began to feel the anger welling up inside of me again. I resisted it for a bit but then it became painfully clear that my work with forgiveness was not complete. I had given God most of my heart but held on to a tiny little bit of anger. It isn't that I had not forgiven Mr but in order to completely forgive him I have to forgive her too. I have to forgive the whole situation and not just 99% of it. I know that forgiveness doesn't mean that anger will not sometimes surface again but it means that I have to chose to do the right thing with that anger. I choose to take it to God instead of letting it make me feel defeated. When Jesus said we have to forgive "seventy times seven" I think he just meant that as a figure and not a literal number. It just meant you have to forgive over and over without ceasing. That doesn't always mean forgiving different offenses but sometimes it means being willing to forgive the same offense every time it comes back up. I think this will be one of those things I have to forgive "seventy times seven." God is really working in my life and I want to be obedient.


  1. Forgiveness is rough stuff. I struggle with it and applaud you for trying.

  2. "There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!" Romans 5:3-5 (The Message)

    This scripture just came to mind when I was praying for you tonight. Continue to persevere! You are honoring God so much when you seek to obey Him, and that is what you are doing. Love you!