Life in Holland: Why I Suck At Being Pregnant

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Why I Suck At Being Pregnant

As you well know, my last pregnancy started going downhill at 24 weeks and just never got better. This time it isn't looking any better. My pneumonia got worse and I am now in the hospital. I am not happy about it but I am ready to get well so if this is what it takes then this is what I'll do. It is hard to be away from my kids and since this hospital is almost an hour from home they cannot be here as much as I wish they could. So if you see them running around looking like orphans please just give them a big hug and know Kenneth is doing the best he can. God bless him though, he doesn't do hair and he thinks pink and red go together. Please keep us in your prayers as separation is just not that easy, especially given Carly's memories of my last hospitalization.

2 comments:

KristineSeptember 16, 2010 at 11:36 AM
Oh, I'm so sorry. That really sucks! I hope you feel better very soon and get back home to your (other) babies.
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AnonymousSeptember 16, 2010 at 3:40 PM
I'm praying for you!!
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I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this....When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.