Saturday, May 1, 2010

I Need To Get This Off My Chest

Dear M.K.,
Sometime early in 2008 my life was forever changed. That was when Anna was diagnosed with CP. From that moment forward I have held you mostly responsible for what happened to her. When I confronted you, your words were harsh. There is still a hole in my heart that aches from the loss of the normalcy we will never again have. I tried to get even and it didn't work out. It didn't feel right and in fact it made me feel worse. It only made the hole in my heart deeper. I want you to know that I forgive you. I pray that God will bless you and that the peace he has given me will also extend to you.

Sincerely,
Jamie

2 comments:

  1. I can't imagine how hard it was to write this. I'm not quite there yet.

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  2. It is a very good sign that you have now written this letter. I know this from experience.

    I had a ruptured tubal pregnancy years ago and was transfered to a bigger hospital by ambulance, and then parked in a corner. I spent ten hours in the corner, in horrible pain, stabbing pains, not able to breathe well, cold from the inside out, and just slowly bleeding internally to death. I almost died. My organs had begun shutting down and I needed blood transfusions to save my life. Another doctor told my family that I would not have lasted another 10 minutes.

    I spent many months being so angry at that doctor who just left me there to die. It made everything worse, and so much harder to deal with.

    Afterward, I had post-traumatic stress disorder and it took me a long time to deal with the anger. I think about it every now and then.

    The best thing to do is, as you said, get it off your chest. The fact that you have forgiven him, and asked God to bless him, is great progress! Good job.

    Best wishes, Debbi

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