Growing Old?

My trip to Lubbock was the best worst trip it could have been. It was horrible to watch Rachel and her family grieve the loss of their mother/wife/sister but it was awesome to see them all and to also see some old friends. I am glad I was able to go but was just as glad to return home. In my younger days I loved to take a road trip or just get away but things are so different now. I am such a home body. I do not like to be away from my husband and kids. On Friday when it was time to leave for the airport I found myself not wanting to leave. It wasn't because I was going to a funeral or any other reason other than I just like to be at home. Does that make me old? Who cares- I don't.

Things are fairly calm on the home front (dare I say it). Anna has her PT/OT evaluations this week but other than that I think this week should be fairly calm. She has her first speech therapy tomorrow since our break so I hope that goes well. She continues to amaze me everyday with her vocabulary. Her imagination has really taken off, too. Now, if we could just cure the whole sleep thing. As I medicated her tonight I realized again how crazy it really is. She gets 400 mg Tegretol, 300 mg Neurontin, and 50 mg Trazodone at night and that kid can still go strong for hours. If you know anything about medicine you know that is a lot for anybody at once- especially a 29 lb child. But we will press on and hope someday she will sleep well or at least learn to soothe herself more or just get up and turn the TV on and watch it when she wakes up. Thank God Carly is a good sleeper and I pray Gabe will be also. Thank God Carly is just such a good kid all around!

At my last ultrasound Gabe still looked good but is dropping percentiles in weight already. I was so certain in the beginning that I would not want any intervention if he had to be born too early but now I am not so sure. I have already grown so attached to him and now that we are at the stage of viability I really am not sure what I would do. I pray it is not a decision we have to face. Gabe gave me a little scare while I was on my trip. He is usually really active a lot of the day. On Saturday I did not feel him move at all during the day. I tried drinking cold juice and still nothing. I finally went and laid on my left side and after about 45 minutes he finally started kicking again. He needs to understand he can't be doing that stuff...