Life in Holland: Divine Intervention

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Divine Intervention

I am not really sure why but I really thought that forgiveness of something so huge in my life was a process that would really take some time to complete. I even wondered if it was a goal I would ever attain. As I had posted before I began to say a prayer of forgiveness. I typed it up, printed it out, and taped it on my bathroom mirror. It was there staring me in the face every time I looked in the mirror. So every time I looked in the mirror I would recite the prayer because if I walked away from it without reciting it I somehow felt like I was cheating myself out of another chance to work towards this forgiveness. I now realize that forgiveness is a divine thing. It is not a process. It is a change of heart that comes from being obedient to God. He told me that I had to forgive and even though at the time I didn't really feel like it I prayed about it and the peace of God changed me. So what I thought would take forever has already happened. I am finished being angry. Forgiveness does not mean that I wish that things hadn't turned out differently or that what happened was ok or that I have to like what happened but forgiveness is no longer holding that person responsible. Forgiveness is freedom and it feels so good!

1 comment:

KatyMarch 3, 2010 at 11:19 PM
I am so glad you feel this way! My MIL says that 40 days of prayer can really get you anywhere. Sounds like you might have arrived early.
ReplyDelete
Replies

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this....When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.