Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Unfair To Compare

As we sat eating tacos and refried beans for dinner (one of only a handful of meals that everyone in this house will eat) I placed a spoonful of beans on Gabe's high chair tray.  He went to town eating them with his hands and doing a mighty fine job at it.  Then I decided to give him a spoon and see how it went.  He quickly scooped up some beans and got them straight to his mouth.  Very little mess (until later when he "washed" his hair with them) and he was so proud.  And so was I.  Then I looked over and saw Anna- struggling to eat her food and spilling beans and meat all over the place.  It looked like a taco bomb had exploded in her place at the table and on the ground around her.  I sat and thought for awhile and my first thought was how sad it made me that Gabe is 1 and can easily use a spoon to feed himself and how at 4 Anna really still struggles with a spoon.  I started to get really sad.  Then I had a moment of perspective.  2 years ago Anna was not only not using a spoon, she was not really eating by mouth.  The bulk of her nutrition was from her Gtube.  It hit me like a ton of bricks-  it's not sad that she can't use a spoon well, it's a miracle that she can use it at all.  So I decided I have 3 choices:
  1. Remain sad that Anna struggles
  2. Be proud of Gabe's accomplishment
  3. Be proud of Gabe's and Anna's accomplishments.
Number 3 is where it is.  I must not compare.  It is not fair to either child.  Each child is a miracle of their own.  I struggle with this so much- comparing them, all 3 of them.  I must remember that even if they were all born perfectly healthy they would still do things on their own timeline.  Each one is a miracle!

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