I did it and I survived it, barely. I made it to the dreaded and feared ARD (or IEP as it is called in some states) meeting for Anna. I am OK with the IEP itself but still sickened by the results of the testing they did. I had heard some of it over the phone but got the official report in writing and it just brings me down. Way down! It just never gets easier to hear things. Our neurologist had warned us some time ago that as Anna got older the gap would widen and we would really begin to see where her problems and delays were. I think I've talked about that before in some other post. As kids are expected to do more there is also room for them to not do more. My eyes welled up with tears during the meeting as I sat there and heard "Cognition- delayed, Motor Development- delayed, Language- delayed, Social Skills- delayed, Self-care- delayed...indicating poor functioning relative to individuals of the same age." They scored her overall between the 7-8%. She had private neuropsych testing done last week and we should have those results in 2-3 weeks. I will be interested to see if they are about the same. The school's current plan is to mainstream her in pre-k next school year and provide support as needed. They will kind of wait and see how she does in the classroom and then add the services as the teacher identifies more problem areas. They will have speech and OT come and see her at least weekly and make classroom adaptations as needed. I am OK with this. I think as she gets with other kids she is either going to take off and make great progress and won't need a ton of services or she will really struggle and we will easily identify what she needs. She is qualified for services so adding them will not be a huge deal. So I've really been struggling with those results and have felt really down again and kind of angry, too. I really thought I was past the anger and had achieved true forgiveness but I guess it is quite apparent that I am human and I am struggling again. Kenneth is such a man. He looks at the results and says,"Well, we can only go up from here." That was it. I love him so much and am actually thankful that he doesn't get emotional because 1 of us needs to stay sane. He is just very matter of fact about everything with Anna. I could go on forever about the anger that has been stirred back up but it just stems from knowing things didn't have to be this way but I know that's a whole other post.
Kenneth and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary on Friday. We didn't do anything special which actually made it really special. We just stayed home, played with the kids, enjoyed a great dinner, watched a beautiful storm, and watched Carly make shadow puppets on the wall as the electricity flickered off and on. Just being home and really enjoying each other's company was all I wanted. We weren't rushed or preoccupied. We were just enjoying the fruits that 10 years of marriage have given us and that to me is quite special!
Here's one from our early days
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