Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Sucker Punch: The Sequel

I got a call from the PhD today who did Anna's neuropsych testing.  She went over the report with me for about 30 minutes.  I might have heard 1/10 of what she said.  Luckily, I will get an official copy of the report and recommendations in the mail.  If we had to depend on my memory at this point we would be screwed.  She has what is called Cognitive Disorder NOS (not otherwise specified) which includes deficits in expressive language, receptive language, visual motor, visual spatial, fine motor, short term memory, working memory, and executive functioning.  I was doing OK through all of that.  Then she got to the next part- borderline intellectual functioning.  That is just about where my mind and body went numb and I didn't really hear much else except about setting up a trust fund for when she gets older.  My heart is officially broken.  Don't get me wrong, it doesn't change anything about the way I feel about Anna or the love I have for Anna.  Anna is still the most amazing little spit fire I have ever met.  It just hurt like hell to hear that and to really think about the struggles she will face.  My friend Nikkole said it best- I can talk about my child's delays and problems all day long on and in MY terms and it is OK.  It is the terms of others that tears me up.  The PhD did say some positive things about her fluid reasoning skills and that can be an indicator of good things to come.  The report also comes with a long list of recommendations for us and for the school.  Could I tell you what any of them are?  Nope, not right now.  I tried to talk to Kenneth about it but that was pretty much a dead end.  I am not trashing him, I'm just being really honest.  He refuses to show any emotion about Anna's problems.  I have said before that is a good thing and sometimes it is.  But I think every now and then it would be nice to know that he has some emotion about it instead of just acting like everything is fine.  Everything is not fine and quite frankly I'm getting really tired and weary from feeling like I'm carrying this all by myself. 

Before that disturbing phone call I had a meeting with the dyslexia specialist at Carly's school.  They got all of her testing done and surprise- she has dyslexia.  We had been told before she had it but they couldn't officially test until the end of 2nd grade.  She will be with the specialist for 50 minutes 4 days a week starting next school year.  I have already seen great strides since January when she started working with the specialist and I am so glad she will be getting the help she needs.  The funny part?  Her IQ score was very high and therefore she qualifies for the gifted and talented program.  Yep- special ed and gifted and talented program all in one child.  I am so proud of her and the great gains she has made this school year!

I went to the Dr this afternoon for some problems I've been having and found out I will be having a hysterectomy tomorrow morning.  It has been a whirlwind kind of day.  I am exhausted- emotionally and physically.  Add to that that my husband has strep throat (the man version which is WAY worse than any woman version could ever be) and so he has been a real ball of joy.  I love him dearly but really, this whole whining pathetic thing has got to stop.

These are only a few of the highlights from this most splendid day!  So please, if you have any spare prayers this girl could really use them because I feel like I'm about to break!


  1. That is a lot to handle in a 24 hour period and you are coherent enough to write tonight, kudo's momma. Sending you loads of good, positive thoughts for tomorrow's surgery and for the other things in life. Your kids are amazing, you are amazing. Never forget it.

    I wish I had the answer to get "dad" in the picture...we have similar issues here with Jason. It is exhausting to be the one who always deals with the extra needs of the kids and still try to hold everything together.

    Much love and hugs tonight.

  2. I love reading about your family! We've known my oldest is twice-exceptional since she was 5 - 5 years ago. It can be extremely time consuming to manage her education, but I love the two-exceptionalities. They are amazing kids, and I have developed an enormous soft spot for them. With Anna, please try not to be too discouraged. Siblings generally have IQs within 10 points of each other. Clearly Anna's challenges have impacted her IQ, but her genetic foundation is a smart little girl. The little girl you've consistently described here. The ability to reason and make good decisions about to how to help yourself are the most important skills a child can learn in school (in my opinion). Many, many, many children don't test well. My oldest daughter has been tested 3 times, and her scores have varied widely. We use information from the tests to assist in identifying her strengths, and aggressively teach her to use those strengths to overcome her weaknesses.
    As bleak a story they may be painting about Anna, I've had the opposite many times. Both my girls struggle in the classroom for various reasons - despite very high IQ scores. We have paid way too much for reports that paint glowing pictures about how smart they are and how well they can do. When we (and the school!) describe the challenges the girls have in the classroom, the 'doctors' pretend those challenges don't exist because their test says the girls should be able to do it.
    My advice is to read and learn lots about 2x kids, and apply that thought process to both your children. There are lots of online resources for educating 2x children, and parents are a fabulous resource in this area. Anna's gifts may be different, but she is gifted and can learn to use her strengths to get her as far as she wants to go!
    And I had a hysterectomy just a couple months ago - it was a breeze and I'm so glad I did it! Good luck!