Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Intuition

Intuition. It is a crazy thing that can stir such emotion. It has been driving me crazy and making me nauseated. It has given me the sickest feeling deep in the pit of my stomach that I just can't shake. It is this feeling that maybe Anna's surgery isn't the right thing to do. What if it doesn't help? What if it makes things worse? What if it has horrible side effects? What if Anna hates me later for doing it? All of these things were circling my head like a bunch of buzzards on a dead animal and I just couldn't take another second of it. Add to that the fact that a bunch of parents of kids with GI problems that I converse with told me of how their children developed dumping syndrome or other horrible problems from the surgery. The more I found out the more horrified I was. I called the GI's office today determined to find some other less invasive, less terrifying, less permanent option. I asked the GI if we could maybe try ballooning open the pyloric sphincter. I know it is only a temporary fix but it would help me to know if fixing the sphincter will help fix the problem. He said it was certainly worth a try and that we should get it done ASAP- which meant tomorrow morning at 0645. So we will be leaving the house before the chickens are up and heading to Cook's to try out this solution. I am so torn and filled with so many emotions. Every time a new procedure surfaces I just get heartbroken all over again that my sweet baby is having to endure things that never should have happened. I am not angry, just sad and frustrated with a situation that seems to have no end. So please, if you have any prayers to spare, we could sure use them. Send them this way...

3 comments:

  1. Good luck! I am a deep, deep believer in Mom's intuition. You do what you think is best.

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  2. Praying for a smooth procedure and a peaceful day. Love you!

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  3. I think that listening to that inner voice is so important...good for you! I'll be saying a prayer for Anna today. :) Hope all goes well and she's home ASAP.

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