A Return Trip From The Land Of Denial

Anna's surgery is now officially scheduled for May 10. The scheduling lady was so nice about it and very respectful of the fact that I was changing the date based on my parent's wishes. She said she is a grandmother and would love if her child would be so obliging. I was proud of my decision to change the date and feel like it was the right thing to do for so many reasons. Our insurance company called today to talk with me about the surgeries. It was a totally random phone call. She wanted to know if I understood the surgery and all it entailed, where I would be staying, if I needed counseling, if we had told Anna about the surgery...the list goes on. I tried to be polite but really 1. Would I consent to 2 surgeries on my child that I did not fully understand? Um, NO! 2. My kid is 2 so I'm thinking I should probably stay at the hospital with her, mmm kay. I am not really sure it is well thought of and/or appropriate for a 2 year old to be left alone 75 miles from home after a surgery. 3. Um, no counseling needed here but thanks for telling me about the benefit that my plan offers- since I already used it earlier. 4. And no, I did not tell Anna. I am thinking that she wouldn't understand and furthermore probably does not care. I tried very hard and was successful at being polite to the lady but if this is adding to the rising cost of health care then I am pretty sure it is something I could do without. I appreciate the thought, but really, it isn't necessary. Then I wondered if there are people who do not really understand and if this service is necessary for them and then that really had me frightened so I just quit thinking about it.

In an unsuccessful attempt to go back to the land of denial and make believe I tried to go up by 10 ml (that is 10ml total not 10ml/hr) on Anna's feeds last night. For those non-metric people that is 1/3 of an ounce or 2 teaspoons. So Anna got 360 ml at 70ml/hr which is just a tad over 5 hours. When I disconnected her that child looked she had swallowed a watermelon. My decision was reaffirmed. The surgery is necessary. Luckily the volcano did not explode although I was sure it would. I kept waking up expecting to smell that wretched regurgitated Peptamen smell but never did. There is no good reason she should not be able to tolerate 2 1/3 ounces an hour other than the fact that her plumbing just isn't right.

I think sometime back I had posted about Anna sleeping in her own bed and in her own room. That only lasted a short time, like maybe a week or two, and then she was back in our room. So she has been in the middle of Kenneth and I ever since. One night she was gone to Kenneth's mom's and I actually had room in the bed and slept so good. I realized how much her being in our bed was disrupting my sleep. I had this bright idea to move her bed into our room and put it at the foot of our bed. We had to kind of make it a little ghetto so that we could still see the tv because I cannot fall asleep without it on. So her ghetto-fied bed is now in our room. I really don't care how it looks because she is sleeping better and so am I. She loves her own bed and is waking less and less. She only wakes up to tell us she is "code" (cold) or wants a "gink" (drink). We now leave a drink of water in her bed with her and have started putting warmer jammies on her at night so she is less "code." Carly is excited too because now on the nights Kenneth is gone it is just she and I.

The New Arrangement...patent pending