Life in Holland: Politically Correct

Friday, August 7, 2009

Politically Correct

Anna's Sunday School teacher called to let me know it was time for Anna to promote to the next class but that she um, well, uh, um, well, uh "just isn't ready." I already knew she was not up to speed with the kids in the next class and that is ok. I actually prefer for her to be where she fits in best, even if it is with the babies. I felt sorry for the teacher who likely got "picked" to be the one to call and tell me my kid is behind. It must have been hard for her! She is such a sweet lady and I love her honesty. Honesty is such a hard thing to come by these days. I just wish that when people are wrong they could just say "I'm sorry." It certainly is not the easiest thing to say but when it is needed, it is just needed. It can be so healing to hear some one sincerely say they are sorry. So if you wrong someone don't be afraid to say you are sorry, you just might change their life and yours too. I mean, really, wouldn't that be the honest thing to do?

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I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this....When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.