The Truth, Or Something Like It

Work was tough yesterday. Discussing DNR status with 3 sisters, one of whom is pregnant with her first child, regarding their 54 year old mother who is eaten up with cancer is never easy. But it is necessary and the doctors skirt the issue and the nurses must do the deed. And so I did. And it took all I had in me not to cry. I do not know what it is that causes me to attach to some patients and not to others but this one has broken my heart, again. It penetrated the wall. I must reinforce the wall, there was not supposed to be a case that could break it and 2 cases this week did. I cannot get so close, not again, and I say that every time and yet it keeps on happening. Maybe it is that I'm human, and maybe that is what makes me the nurse I am, but it sucks! And so I was driving home and thinking about how much the day had sucked but how blessed I was to have lived through it and then I called the man to tell him I was on my way home. I always do that. I don't know why, I just do it out of habit I guess. So then he tells me Anna is at the park with Nikki (our neighbor). I ask if Carly is there too and he tells me no, she is with Kinsey though at her house and Eric (Nikki's husband) is watching them. I found it curious that Anna was with Nikki, but not Carly. It was then, after much stuttering, that I got the full story- or so I thought. Kenneth tells me he was outside with the girls and he got busy doing something for just a minute and the girls disappeared. He apparently didn't notice until Nikki called to ask Kenneth if he knew Anna was at her house. He tells me he just kinda said "no" and that was the end of it. I could not believe that #1 he was not watching her close enough and #2 he was dumb enough to tell me about it. We discussed it in detail and I think got to the bottom of it and I was assured it would not ever happen again. When I got home, totally unrelated to the previous story (or so I thought), the house was immaculate. The toilets were sparkling and the house was filled with the aroma of pledge. He had finally done all that I had dreamed of...he cleaned the house. So tonight Nikki and I were outside watching the kids play and kicking back a few cervezas when I told her I was so sorry about the disappearing Anna incident. She laughed and told me it was fine and how funny it was when she called Kenneth to tell him Anna was there and his response was "Oh, shit, I am over here on my hands and knees cleaning like a bitch and didn't even notice she was gone..." Ah, once again it is proven- there is nobody else that can do a mama's job... for I can clean and watch kids. I laughed my butt off. We leave in the morning for Florida and I can't wait...